Abuse Issues

As strange as it may sound, sometimes people have trouble recognizing that they are being abused. It may be especially difficult to recognize for someone who has lived with abuse for many years. For them, it's just the way things are and they may feel like nothing can be done about it, so why bother.

Abuse can happen to girls or guys. Abuse can happen in wealthy families with fancy homes - or in poor families. Whether it's a single or two-parent family, and no matter the color of the family or their religion, there can be abuse. Even if the family is well-known and respected in the community, there can be abuse.

Every family has arguments. And in most families, there are times when punishment or discipline - like removing privileges, grounding, or being sent to your room - are used. It's rare that a family doesn't have rough times, disagreements, and anger. That's all normal. It becomes a problem, though, when the punishment is physically or emotionally damaging. That's called abuse.

Abuse can take many forms. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or a combination of any or all of those. It can also be neglect

Physical abuse is more obvious. It may be any kind of hitting, shaking, burning, pinching, biting, choking, throwing, whipping, paddling, beating and other actions that cause physical injury, leave marks, or produce significant physical pain. Using belts, whips, or other objects as a form of discipline may be physical abuse.

Sexual abuse is any type of sexual contact between an adult and child. It can also be sexual contact between a significantly older child and a younger child.

Emotional abuse can be difficult to pin down because there are no physical signs to look for. Sure, people yell at each other, express anger, and call each other names sometimes. Expressing anger can be healthy sometimes. But just like physical abuse can cause physical damage, emotional abuse can cause emotional damage or scars. It's hard to define, but emotional abuse might include a parent constantly belittling or threatening a child.

Neglect is probably the hardest type of abuse to define. Some teens, for instance, may think it's neglect if their mom or dad doesn't give them something like a new computer when they want one, but that's not it. Neglect happens when a child doesn't have adequate food, housing, clothes, medical care, or supervision. Emotional neglect happens when a parent doesn't provide enough emotional support and might include deliberately and consistently paying little or no attention to a child.

Teens who are abused often believe that it wouldn't have happened if they were better people - that there must be something wrong with them. They may think it was something they did or didn't do that caused the abuse. They may feel guilty and embarrassed and blame themselves, especially if the abuse is sexual. They may have trouble getting help because they'd be telling on someone they love - someone who may be wonderful much of the time and awful to them only some of the time. They can feel confused and have mixed emotions. For these reasons, abuse is often not reported.

Abused teens often feel weird or alone. But they're not. It's only human, and very normal, for teens who have been abused to feel confused and upset about what happened to them. The most important thing to remember is that there is no good excuse for abuse.

No one EVER deserves to be Abused!